♥ Friday, January 11, 2008
Betrayed.
Feeling of betrayal eeks me. Great disappointment was all i felt. How could someone just take a friendship... throw it to the floor and step wadever remains of it. That's how bad it felt for me.
Rejection has always been my greatest fear. It comes from an extremely insecure girl. I'm someone who needs constant reassurance, constant attention, as much as i'm very independent.
Respect, that's the most fundamental element is any friendship. That's the minimum i expect fr anyone. That you couldn't give. Seriously, i'm extremely pissed off. Now that i found out the actual reason behind it,
Woo~ i cannot believe how ridiculous it's all about. If that's the way the value of our friendship, the friendship that i offer to you with my both hands. FINE. Many thanks for rejecting this friendship.
Cruel ways of the world. Even such a small matter hurts me deeply. As much as i give, that's what i hope to receive as well. Well, life often dun add up, do they?
But.... my all-loving Father always steps in.. in the right time.. when i look for Him... :)
Just listening to
Corrinne May's song.. Shelter on the bus.. and there i started tearing... It's almost like God was talking to me.. Straight to my face...
"What's wrong, whats getting you down
Is it something I might have said?
You're walking around
with your head to the ground
and your eyes are watery red
I know you've been through rough times
Kicked around, thrown to the ground
but you've always been the strong one
So don't tell me that nobody gets you
'cause I'm standing in your corner
Knocking at our door
You don't have to be alone
Just call my name
Let me be an answer
'cause it hurts me to see you this way
I wanna ease your pain
Help me understand
Let me be your shelter my friend
We share a bond
You and I we belong
We're like coffee and morning trains
You strip my defenses
I catch your pretenses
The same blood runs through our veins
I swore I'd be your lifeline
Made a vow that I'd surround you with love at every milestone
I'll listen when nobody gets you
I'm still standing in your corner
Waiting by your door
You don't have to be alone."
You have no idea how much comfort this song gave to me.
I really think this is a word sent for God.. especially for me.
I need to realise that everything, everyone will fail me except God.
I need to realise I'm worth much more than that.
I need to realise that God's always there for me.
I need to realise that God aches to see me hurting.
I need to realise that God's just a call away.
I need to realise that I'm not alone.
I need God.
That's all i ever need.
Labels: deep thots
Michy signing off… 10:43 PM